This is me webcaming.. while someone is on stalker status

and this is the ring i got..

"Handle Me" - Robyn

today was weird?!.. yeah i guess.. didnt wake up til 10ish.. its my day off.. didnt leave home at all, only went downstairs to check mail and pick up the food delivery! can you say lazy much?.. =] added twitter.. cause my blackberry is on the outs and i needed something to keep me entertained.. can i just say that after about 8 hrs of being a Twitter member, I AM ADDICTED!.. i havent been addicted to anything like this since i got my first camera! omg.. when i get my BB working again im gonna get the app so that i can use it all the time.. i even downloaded Twhirl today.. i mean its not like i have hella friends on there, its just interesting to see the human side of celebs and then the world news updates, people sharing funny videos, quotes, theories, etc.. wish i would have added it a long time ago!.. oh well.. i started building a new playlist in itunes of all the songs that friends/associates always tell me that i should listen to but i never get a chance.. plus songs that are listed on Twitter.. lets just say.. im hooked on that as well.. so far, im loving the suggestions from [celebs] cassie, samantha ronson, and LL [friends] dens, enzo, kala, n toni.. thanks for the awe-mazing tunage! i think that im gonna be spending even more time at home listening to music n getting inspired.. have to find another job so that i can afford all this music! itunes isnt breaking the bank yet but i feel it coming along, especially with my upcoming trip to Paris, France! =] i really do need a second job.. between clothes, music, living in hawaii, and travel.. im a very pricy girl! oh i finally got the ring ive been wanting forever! its the Irish Claddagh ring.. it was only $50 =] JJ is making sounds about buying a white gold version for when we are officially engaged.. i like this one though cause it was something ive wanted since i was little and would listen to storys about my ancestors.. it was just something i got myself.. you know.. making promises to myself.. seeing how i am the most important person in my life and all.. =] so, on another note.. i havent talked to him in a while.. not since.. maybe 2 wks ago?! idk.. its kinda hurts cause i know im gonna see him again and i know what is expected of me when we do see each other again.. i just wish that i new what was going on with him so that i could feel better about the fact that he seems to turn his feelings on and off on a whim.. im stronger than i was.. but not that strong.. idk.. i dont like being used.. but i know that is what he is doing.. i just dont know how to say goodbye.. this time i will find the words.. i will end it this time.. no distractions, no delays.. straight up.. real talk.. im puttin myself first this time.. we can have fun and chill.. but everything else has to go to the curb.. its about time i grew up.. even though you are way older than me and you havent grown up yet is no reason for me not to!.. summer time.. when everything becomes more clear we will see =/

Multimedia message

Just wanted to see if I can do this

ex friends better off as lovers and not the other way around

im a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart after all this time i still find myself falling for you.. its frustrating.. and i know that its only gonna get worst when you are near by.. i will sit there watching you work the room smiling, laughing, talking with everyone.. and i will feel awkward as usual because i dont know everyone.. n you will give me a silent look with your eyes.. and that look will mean so much to me.. and then you will find a reason to touch me.. and that touch will give me some stability.. and my heart will race because in a room full of people that youve known forever, you will find it necessary to comfort me.. even when you dont have to.. people that dont care dont do that do they?.. i will ask myself.. and then i will feel myself slipping.. falling deeper for you.. this slippery slop that im on right now is already steep.. it doesnt need to get any steeper.. its getting harder and harder for me to believe this is just an illusion anymore.. ex friends better off as lovers?!

torete sayo, kayat ka

this is me with you on the brain.. funny how it is almost 4 years to the day that we met.. fell.. loved.. then crashed and burned.. n you like to start off the conversations with memories of our past together.. only to turn the conversation into a pity party for you because your latest realtionshiet isnt workin.. and stupid me, i fall for it everytime.. i walk you through what you need to do.. get you back on the right path.. boost your self esteem.. remind you that all though the mistakes of the past are not forgotten they are forgiven.. and then once again you turn the convo back on to us.. blowing me away.. asking me to sing for you the song that use to bring tears to my eyes.. the song that i cant listen to now cause it once described every emotion i felt for you.. the song that was my "theme song" .. you want me to sing it to you, so you can fall asleep, and i can stay awake all night.. thinkin of you.. missing you.. wanting you all over again.. when will this cycle end?

January 6th we crashed and burned

im still picking up the pieces from that wreck..

"im done" PCD

i wasnt looking for this all i do is think of you..

I wasn't looking for thisWhat is thisI don't knowYou know I was doing just fineBy myselfOn my ownTell me how to stop this feelingI don't want to fall in loveJust want to have a little funThen you came and swept me up and now I'm done so doneFalling madly deeply ISurprise myself enough to findThat what's become this love and now I'm done so done, I'm doneYeahI can't imagine right nowStanding here, without youTo think that I tried to ignoreWhat I felt, what I knewI could never, stop this feelingI don't want to fall in loveJust want to have a little funBut then you came and swept me up and now I'm done so doneFalling madly deeply ISurprise myself enough to find that what's become this love and now I'm done so done, I'm doneYeahThank you for not letting goWhen I saidLet me goThank you for timing, thank you for findingThank you for not believing me baby when I saidI don't want to fall in loveJust want to have a little funBut then you came and swept me up and now I'm done so doneFalling madly deeply ISurprise myself enough to find that what's become this love, and now I'm done so done, I'm doneYeahI wasn't looking for this, and now I'm done, I'm done