my xmas wish list

im in the christmas spirit right now.. gettin kinda sad cause i dont want to spend this christmas alone.. but what other choice do i have when he is in Afghanistan?.. i want to have that perfect christmas that ive always dreamed of with snow and ice.. cuddling up next to the fire with blankets and socks.. egg nog and his presence.. his arms wrapped around me.. his smile in the curve of my neck.. singing christmas songs while watching the lights on the tree and the flames dancing across the wall.. falling asleep together in each others arms.. with each other in our hearts.. i want that.. thats my christmas wish.. i think it always has been.. its postponed for another year however seeing how there is very slim chance im going to get snow in Honolulu, Hawaii.. this makes me so sad.. i want to have my dreams fufilled.. i want to spend my birthday, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, and valentine's day with the same person all in the same year.. i hope it can be this year [2009-2010] we will see.. so many other things i need to pray on however so i cant promise myself to focus on obtaining this goal... atleast i have something to look forward to.. i know that i deserve this

give it all away

crazy as its sounds.. unlike most people who dont like december and holidays when they are alone/lonely, i love it.. december is one of my favorite months of the year.. i love the festivities.. i love the togetherness that everyone displays even if im not part of it.. i believe that december is one of the happiest months of the year.. i love the coldness, the stillness.. the quiet of december.. i miss december.. i miss the singleness that i usually feel at this time of year.. i am normally way more intune with my self and my emotions in december.. i cant wait for december this year.. again i will be spending it alone as usual.. maybe christmas too.. idk.. im ready for that.. i need that right now.. i have too much in my head right now.. i need to be able to understand me again.. i dont want to be confused, torn, lost, hurt anymore.. atleast in december i can comprehend the situation better.. i hate feeling like there is something i am missing..

Linkin Park

"My December" This is my December This is my time of the year This is my December This is all so clear This is my December This is my snow covered home This is my December This is me alone And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all The things that I said To make you Feel like that And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all the Things that I said to you And I give it all away Just to have somewhere To go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to This is my December These are my snow-covered trees This is me pretending This is all I need And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all The things that I said To make you feel like that And I Just wish that I didn't feel Like there was Something I missed And I Take back all the things I said to you And I give it all away Just to have Somewhere to go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to This is my December This is my time of the year This is my December This is all so clear And I give it all away Just to have somewhere To go to Give it all away To have someone To come home to